For those of you that don’t know, my grandmother is steadily declining and the doctors said she could join the angels any day now. My parents have been by her side for two weeks now, but I have not been able to go up to New York and see her. My mother has been adamant against me doing so because she wants to save me from having to see my grandmother in her current state. She also doesn’t want me to miss work because I am low on money since my project ended last month and just started a new one. Like everyone else, have bills to pay, and when I’m not at work I don’t get paid. Of course none of that matters to me, but after numerous discussions with my mom and I’m staying in Atlanta instead of sitting by my grandmother’s side. My failure to be there has made me feel guilty, selfish, and like I am being cheated out of saying goodbye. It has made me feel guilty because I can’t be there with her and say good bye or that I love her.
Fortunately today, while I was at work, my mom texted me and asked me if I wanted to Facetime with my grandma. She has be unconscious and non-responsive for over a week now, however since it seems the end is getting closer, my mom got past her attempt to try and protect us. She had already Facetimed with my sister and while my sister was talking to my grandmother, she opened her eyes. For the first time in over a week. When I got the text, I immediately clocked out, ran downstairs, and called my mom so I could Facetime too. Seeing my grandmother like that was absolutely devastating and heartbreaking, but I got to tell her how much I loved her. And she opened her eyes when she heard me. It was wonderful, as wonderful as anything can be in this situation. I felt like my heart was going to explode with love and happiness. I got to tell her how much I loved her, and it seems like she heard me